Saturday, February 12, 2005

Now why haven't I been sleeping?

Night shift tonight, 11-7 on my second job. Nothing quite like psychiatric nursing at night...you have to be up for anything but mostly nothing happens. At least I have kids tonight -- the powers-that-be keep the units so cold that even if the kids wake up they just snuggle farther under their blankets. Adults, on the other hand, want to stay up all night.

But silly me -- got up early and haven't been able to sleep at all today, which means it's going to be tough to stay up all night. Too much on my mind, I guess.

Valentine's Day is so close. Mom's really fragile; Dad's only been gone two weeks so this is really tough for her. I can't believe that my brother Steve is taking her to church tomorrow for the third week in a row...he's always been so anti-religion that this is very surprising. I guess he has a heart after all -- 20 years ago, even 10 years go, I would have bet good money that he didn't.

Even though it's awful that Dad is gone -- I can't help feeling envious. There'll never be 51 years of a happy marriage for me...heck, I'd take any amount of a happy marriage I can get. Unfortunately for me, that guy I used to be married to didn't feel that way. And it's awfully hard to find someone compatible AND capable of commitment in your 40s and 50s. At least here, it's hard.

Anne and I are trying to talk her into coming and staying with us a bit; although with my floors torn up (preparatory to tile...what a job that's going to be!) and evil dog Wiley marking everything and very little cleaning done (just can't get it together), I would think she'd find this MORE depressing. But she always has liked being able to organize her children.

I can't WAIT until my income tax refund comes in so I can buy the tile and get started!

1 comment:

Colleen said...

Ugh, night shift. I don't think I can do that anymore. And when I did my rotation in psych, I was afraid I wouldn't be let out.
Hope you get a bit of rest, Jodie! Hope your mom gets through v day.