Monday, July 18, 2005

Those Final Preparations

I like to know we're all on the same page, just in case.

My kids already know I want to be cremated when the time comes, and that's what my daughter wanted the last time I asked her (although now it's her husband's responsibility).

I didn't know, though, what my son wanted, so I asked him...and you can read below, in his own words (as best I remember them)...

Gavin: "In my coffin, I want a cassette recorder that plays, "braaaaiinnnssss.....braaaaiinnssss..." over and over. And I want to be wrapped up like a mummy, only not really mummified, just look like one. Oh wait! No, I want an actor in the coffin, who'll occasionally jump out and yell 'Boo!' at people.

"Oh, yeah, and I want to be buried under a pyramid with boulder traps and jewels and stuff, on top of Mt. Everest. And there'll have to be solid gold statues of me, at least two of them, and if you touch them, you're electrocuted. No, wait...if you touch them, you fall into a pit of piranhas. And it'll have to be guarded by ninjas."

Me: "Won't the ninjas get bored?"

Gavin: "No, they can feed the piranhas and do ninja stuff. Like ninja training.

"And I want a plaque...a plaque with something on it."

Me: "Like a quote? What quote?"

Gavin: "It'll have to be something by a famous poet. And original...and let's see...oh, I know, you can get a bunch of scientists to clone Robert Frost, and after he's written something, then they can wall him up in the tomb with me.

"Oh, and I'll have to have an eternal flame that can be seen from outer space.

"And if you can't do all that, just have me stuffed and put me in front of my computer for all time."

O-Kay!

18 comments:

Rhodester said...

I'd be under suspicion that this kid is the reincarnation of Quenton Tarantino, except he's not dead yet.

Keeefer said...

LMAO.
Now thats a funeral

Stephanie said...

Classic! How old is he, anyway?

Jodie said...

Keeef, I don't know how I'm going to manage it -- so he'll probably wind up at the taxidermist.

Stephanie, he's 16. :)

Dave, I don't know where he gets it from (but he sure makes me laugh) -- he used to want to direct movies and I think the world will really miss out since he's since gone on to other plans.

Lita said...

Most 16 year olds don't know what they want. At least Gavin is focused. LOL

Maureen said...

Some parents are faced with the burden(?) of saving for their kid's university education, but it looks like you've got a little more on your plate. Perhaps he'd like to start planning now to take over a small country so that his subjects can foot the bill for his burial.

Yeeha, you found me. Thanks for the comments. I figured it made it a bit of challenge when the flickr gallery made the mistake on who made what for whom.

Backtack may be over but I'll still be snooping

Stephanie said...

Wow - and you have conversations with your 16-year-old? :) Seriously, he sounds like he has real focus, and that is so important at that age.

AVA said...

Hahaha, you must have a blast living with him :)

Leann said...

LOL...now that's original!

kath red said...

i remember as a kid I had a whole funeral scenario worked out. it would involve my body wrapped in cloth and place on a pyre to burn, overlooking a cliff, at sunset, friends and family dancing and banging on drums around the burning body.

Gone Away said...

Hmmm, that last alternative - I wonder if I died and someone did that for me. Better move around a bit to check...

HypnoKitten said...

I couldn't be sealed up with Robert Frost for an eternity. Ack. Antonio Banderas.... now we're talking!

Jay said...

Wow, I hope that kid's life is insured up the wazoo, cause that's going to get mighty expensive!

Meepers said...

Sounds like Gavin has quite an imagination. What a great kid! I think my hubby wouldn't mind that option to be stuffed and posed in front of his laptop for all time.

That rocks.

Ned said...

After I left high school and took up an independent study of philosophy I had toyed with the idea of going out like Jeremy Bentham but later decided the mummification bit was a little gruesome. I then choreographed a funeral where the costumes would be provided but later abandoned that idea after the Robert Palmer videos showed women in strikingly similar garb and make-up to my funereal vision. The funny thing is, as I get older I get less and less choosy about the ceremony that follows my death even though the occasion grows closer by the day.

Rog said...

Look, honey, I have a blog!

Jodie said...

Gavin is a lot of fun. He decided against mummification because pulling the brains out through the nose is just too horrible to contemplate.

fin said...

that was hilarious!