Monday, October 17, 2005

The Second Oldest Profession

My friend Bev likes to say that nursing is the second oldest profession. She's probably right.

Saturday night, I worked adult psych, 11-7. The unit's lost a couple of full time nurses, so instead of working child psych these days, I usually wind up with the grownups.

The moon was full, or almost full, and while research studies seem to indicate that the full moon has nothing to do with weirdness, I'm not sure I believe it.

We had a lot of people who couldn't sleep, who were up and down and pacing and talking. Nice group, though; everyone was polite and friendly.

Mary, the nurse I worked with, is an attractive older lady, late 50s, elegantly (if casually) dressed (if you work psych, you can wear street clothes if you want), with lovely jewelry, manicured nails, nicely coiffed hair...and like me, she has a "fluffy" body shape (as in, we used to have hourglass figures but they sunk to the bottom). She has a kind and caring grandmotherly air about her, and most of the patients love her.

So here we are, sitting in the day room, working on our paperwork, every now and then redirecting someone who's up and a little loud, when a very psychotic female patient touches a male patient (whom she had just met that day) VERY inappropriately. When Mary redirected her, the patient said, "You hussy! If you'd just quit your nude dancing, my husband here would come home to me!"

She sent both patients off to their (own) beds, then sat down and looked at me with a mischievous air.

"You do know that I'd probably make a lot more money nude dancing, don't you?" she asked.

I think, O-KAY! It IS a full moon...

And then she continued, grinning, "Because they'd pay a lot of money to see me keep my clothes ON!"

16 comments:

Lita said...

I believe the full moon does have some kind of pull on people and alters behavior. I used to keep the farmer's almanac full moon schedule tacked to my cubical wall when I worked for a brokerage firm. I noticed a change in the types of calls we would get and I wanted to be prepared.

Meepers said...

Maybe a little off subject, but my best friend and I were both told by our midwives that lots more babies come on the full moon. I used to feel it a lot more, but I think things are just a general sort of crazy 'round here now.

D Bunny said...

I guess Marys think alike. I used to tell people (with a straight face) I worked my way through nursing school stripping. While they were trying to compose themselves, I'd add, "Yep, the clients would pay me to put my clothes back ON. Paid my way through private college!"

Penelope Marzec said...

My father, a journalist, always said the news got crazier around the full moon.

Running2Ks said...

LOL! Nude dancing would certainly make more people come to see the doctor :)

Rhodester said...

Jodie, did I tell you about the young woman who I had a crush on in San Diego 20 years ago and I ran into her a few years back and she's now a 40 year old stripper? I didn't? Well, have a seat..

Third Degree Nurse said...

It's good to keep a sense of humor in the psyc ward.

Lorna said...

I have a friend who woks in an ER and she said that not only do they have more patients during a full moon, but their injuries fall into the Darwin Award category: like the woman who was driving to work and drying her hair with a cigarette lighter...

Glod said...

For some reason I've always thought that the second oldest profession was espionage, or prostitution, or some form of obscure shell fish harvesting. I think the reason for this is because the radio isn't very loud in the back of the car during interesting programmes about professions.

Glod said...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3490120.stm This says espionage is second, with prostitution first. Now for shell fish.

Dave Hunter said...

For those interested in joining the second oldest profession you might want to check out:
All Nursing Schools
and
Medical Assistant

A great place to start when you are thinking about going to school

Running2Ks said...

How are you doing? Haven't seen you blogging in a bit.

nursing said...

Hi Jodie, I have been visiting sites for hours and I really like what you have done with your blog. Informative and interesting! In fact I found your site just after
I visited community health nursing
It's not exactly what I was looking for but it was nonetheless interesting to read.

Leann said...

Where are you Jodi?

Keeefer said...

people are strange, psychos are stranger and nurses should be spoken to politely

Is it over yet... said...

If prostitution is the oldest profession and espionage is next...i wonder where nsg fits in. I bet the schizos would have fun with this one...there are a lot of thoughts going through my head. Then again ive met nurses that are both.