Thursday, June 02, 2005

The Evil Bees

I have just been treated to what may be the most creative World Domination Scheme I have ever heard.

Gavin tells me that if he were to learn interpretive dance, he's sure he could use that to communicate with bees -- Africanized Killer Bees -- which would then become his willing slaves.

With these diminutive yet powerful minions, it would be "a piece of cake" to take power -- after all, the bees could be loaded up on trucks in order to infiltrate the Entire Free World.

He thought up and rejected several Evil Nemesis names (The Bee Keeper, Hive Master) until he decided on "Dr. B Evil", which he states, "works well on SEVERAL levels".

After some thought, though, he demonstrated " interpretive dance" for me and then said, "You know, it would be very hard for people to take you seriously if you have to be doing this sort of thing all the time" while leaping across the living room, drooping like a dying swan, and fluttering like autumn leaves.

Maybe Barysnikov could have pulled it off, but Gavin...yeah, he'd have to have whole countries jailed for laughing-- not just chuckling -- but loud, snorting, Coke-blowing-out-the-nose hilarity.

It's just as well, because I don't believe he thought through the whole winter/hibernating bees thing...

14 comments:

Gone Away said...

Gavin's plan is sound (indeed, Gone Away World Domination Inc is working on something very similar right at this moment). There is one drawback that he has not taken into account. Apart from the tendency to look ridiculous while pirouetting in front of his massed hordes of bees, he is going to have to be known as Queen Gavin...

Keeefer said...

Gones raised a good point. But 10/10 for originality. The world needs more world domination schemes....after all what do these so called Spys do all day if no ones building mega bases and bringing the world close to destruction with bee induced hysteria?

Jodie said...

Gone, I know THAT never occurred to him...and why is this the first I've heard of Gone Away World Domination Inc? I hope this wasn't an accidental slip...I know what THAT means. I'd have to go into the Federal Witness Protection Program. :D

Keeef, the spies are all out enforcing the Patriot Act. So I guess Gavin and Gone had better get some evil schemes going so they'll leave the rest of us alone.

Ned said...

There isn't much hope for Gone Away World Domination Inc. As he has gone and incorporated, the IRS has the organization on file and assigned it a federal tax identification number. Anything he dominates will now be taxed.

I am sure Gavin will not make the same mistake.

Jodie said...

Then again, the IRS might just side with GAWD, Inc (Gone, did you plan that acronym?) in order to fill its coffers...

Jay said...

Interpretive dance?

You know, I like the kind of person who puts himself out there for a laugh. That's awesome.

Gone Away said...

.oO(Hmmm, I kinda like that .... GAWD Inc ... yes, it has a ring to it ... think I'll keep it...)

Meepers said...

Please give Queen Gavin and his little minions my best, and tell him thank you for being such a shining light of inspiration in an otherwise desolate teenage realm.

Leann said...

Very creative thinking on Gavin's part and I'd love to have seen the leaping and bending going on in your living room.

Leann said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rusty said...

Better than my plan.

I'd hide in terror... or something.

Glod said...

I found a dead bee today on a window sill during and exam. Oh well.

Keeefer said...

where have you gone??????
come back we are all missing you and the wheels of steel

Lita said...

Where had Jodie been?