Tuesday, February 15, 2005

My 20 year list

A lovely man from my past called me a few days ago to sympathize with me on the death of my father.

At one time we thought about getting married, but his children hated me and he didn't like my kids much either...and 6 spoiled teenagers would have been too, too much. I could never figure out how we'd all fit in his house.

On top of that, there was the money issue. He's a successful surgeon, makes somewhere around a million a year, is a country club member, lives in a gated estate, shops at Harold's, owns a boat, and complains frequently how poor he is and how he has to cut back his spending.

And here I am, about as far from the country club set you can get, buy my clothes at thrift stores (except the scrubs, and then I like bright ones), drive a disposable car (ie, if it breaks or I wreck it, I buy another one for $2000), rarely eat out, and pinch pennies till they scream. And I don't even LIKE Harold's.

It made me very uncomfortable, the money thing.

I do miss him, though, and was glad to hear from him. He's a funny guy, works long hours and is very good at what he does. He's also a very gentle person, very tentative, and reluctant to say what he needs or wants. Very shy. He's also energetic, impatient, and very, very anxious.

In some ways we were a very good fit. He was able to slow down a little when we were together and I think he drew on my philosophy of life to gain a little serenity in his own. And I had more energy and oh, how I loved traveling with him.

When he called, he mentioned that he'd started his own Ten Year List...and then thanked me for it. I guess in a way, that was a gift from me to him.

A Ten Year List holds all those things you want to get done but don't have time right now. These are projects too big or too unimportant to go on your daily or weekly list. Kirk had always pushed himself to get everything done RIGHT NOW...and it was no wonder he was so anxious all the time. So if he's able to put some of his worries off onto a Ten Year List, then he's made a change for the better.

And, you may ask, what happens if you get to the end of ten years, and you haven't completed your list? It rolls onto the Twenty Year List, of course!


Rusty said...

Sorry about your Dad. Sympathy from complete strangers can be nice sometimes too.

On the money issue, I am too young to really know... but...

If I found someone who amde over a million dollars a year I'd put on my nice rose-tinted glasses and everything would be just peachy!

But like I said, I'm a shallow person sometimes :-D

Gone Away said...

I, too, am sorry about your Dad.

But I must thank you for the idea of the Ten Year List. I have things in my head that have been floating around for years, always put aside because "I don't have the time right now". You have given me a way to deal with them. Thank you.