Thursday, June 03, 2004

The Perfect Guy

Well, since I seem to be on the subject of my special guy...what makes this so-far-not-in-my-life person THE special guy?

There's that sense of humor thing; he has to be able to laugh. And that doesn't include those jokes that you can't repeat to certain groups because those just make me so uncomfortable (with the exception of a few naughty but funny ones that you can't repeat to kids or your parents but are OK for other adults).

Gentleness is good. I can't bring myself to criticize or berate others and can barely tolerate a raised voice. So easily angered and/or dominant are both out.

Kindness is a must; once I was 2 hours late to work because some ducklings had fallen into the sewer and I had to get them out (animals in need sure seem to know how to find me). My guy needs to understand that I can't walk by a person or animal who needs help. I even rescue the spiders that get into the house (although I do squish wasps -- mostly while shrieking loudly -- they are soo scary).

Creativity or intelligence are qualities I need. I'm pretty quick on the uptake and a good problem solver, and I like those qualities in the people around me. And I believe most problems have SOME kind of a solution. I get frustrated with people who are convinced there is no solution to their minor problems, so they just whine and moan (yes, I whine and moan too, but then I DO something).

He has to be able to accept the fact that I'm a reader; I read A LOT. Some guys can't stand it if you're not paying attention to them ALL THE TIME. An interruption is okay, and sometimes really nice, but I shouldn't have to jump up to appease someone. That's for hungry 2-year-olds.

And he needs to have a passion of some sort in his life, something he likes to do, or maybe a lot of different things he likes to do (other women and pornography don't count). Or maybe it changes. But he has to be interested in and curious about things. Those things keep you lively and happy.

Honesty is a must. I need to be able to trust my guy to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, except where it concerns the "does it make my butt look big" question. That question must always be answered either "no" or better yet, "I love the way your butt looks!"

He MUST like children and animals, since they seem to gravitate toward me...right now I have 3 dogs, a cat, a lizard and two teenagers. That's a lot. So he has to have his serenity within and not from the environment.

About my age (48) is nice. More than 5-6 years either way probably isn't a good fit for me.

Then there's that dichotomy I have -- I love to be at home but I also love to travel (my last trip was a backpack to Venice and Rome trip last December). So he has to be a homebody who likes adventure.

A little laziness is good (I'm a little lazy too). My philosophy towards housework is "if it's not a fire hazard and we don't have bugs, it's probably OK". And I have a nice crop of weeds in my yard because I'm afraid if I put poison down, I'll kill the toads.

Being able to give and receive affection is a necessity; I am one of those people who has to touch other people. And I love hugs. Plus all that intimate stuff. :)

Tool using is a plus because I am afraid I'd cut all my fingers off if I used power tools, and it's nice if SOMEONE can cut boards and things when working on the house. But it's a plus, not a requirement.

Wow. What a paragon! And of course, he'd think I'm a paragon, too. :)

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